I used to think I knew what I wanted.
I suppose I still kind of do, but is it everything I need?
I want a nice, huge house. You know, like those that you see in the Anjung Seri and Impiana magazines. And off course, most of the rooms' settings are more or less de same like Ikea's.
I want to have my own jet so I can fly to Paris should I fancy.
I want a jacuzzi in my backyard. So I can bath like a princess, with candles and nice smelling potpourri surrounding my pool.
I want my own MPV or SUV. The most cikai one for me is Honda Stream where I can use to send my kids to school or to bring my girlfriends for window shopping.
I want a humongous library, crammed chock-full with books. Not in my home, off course. I want to own a bookstore. U know like the one in "You've Got Mail". No, not the small one owns by Meg Ryan. The big one, where Tom Hanks owns it- Fox Bookstore. Yeah, I want that. I really really want a library of my own exactly just like that.
But do I really need any of it?
But it'd be silly comparing deep-seated desires to material ones.
Nevertheless, the premise remains: do I really need everything I want?
And do I know what it is I really need?
Most times I think I don't. I'm just beginning to realise how much I don't.
And only when it hits you like a face-first belly-flop off a 5-foot springboard into the pool do you realise how much you've been needing it. And by the time you realise it, just pray and be grateful it is not too late.
You take so many things for granted when you think what you want is what you need. Kan? Kan?
:) Im just feeling blessed rite now.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Wonder Woman
I have had several discussions with different people on the topic of the female psyche.
It has always been a problem for men to figure out what a woman is really like. Is she really nice and kind or is that facade hiding the modern answer to the Wicked Witch of the West? Some men have resorted to using 'signs'. One man I know actually went on the basis of cats. He thought that if a cat approaches a woman and takes to her, that means she's a good sort. Animals know, he says.
I would rather think that she had something fishy up her sleeve. Literally.
The best way to figure out a woman's character is through her female friends. What manages to fool a man cannot fool another woman. Discounting for jealousy and petty cattiness, a woman will always see what another woman is about. Call it instinct, ESP or the sixth sense, a woman will always be able to see through the facade and understand the motivations of another woman's actions.
The men I've known have always been taken in by a pretty face and what they perceive to be a good person. And after the brand is produced and the ownership is clearly defined, they are either in too deep to see the woods for the trees, or are stunned by the revelations of her true nature.
I've realised after encounters with certain members of my own sex, that the quickest way to decide, on first contact, whether a person is trustworthy, is to see if she has close friends of her own gender. A woman cannot hide her true self from another woman for long before tripping up. And most women will shy away from unsavoury characters and keep them at arm's length. I've noticed that women who are back stabbers, liars, or have huge character flaws don't usually have close female friends - as they've probably backstabbed or lied to these friends. And as a result, have lost them.
A while ago, it dawned on me that there is no one who is truly good or evil. I was used to seeing things in absolute that I had not noticed that absolutes don't exist in the real world. The nicest, best person on the face of this planet will have a weakness, may it be a penchant for shopping or the occasional foot-in-mouth-titis. And the nastiest, most untrustworthy person you will ever meet will have at least a grain of goodness in them - even if it is just care for their parents, the love of a woman, appreciation of beauty, or the instinct to brake for animals crossing the road. But some flaws are easier forgiven, tolerated, and even appreciated.
I wouldn't say that my girlfriends were perfect human beings. Each has their Achilles heel. But for me, the goodness of their character and their constant striving to better themselves makes them notable people. They might have their own weaknesses but, in most cases, those weaknesses make them more endearing. I have always told them that it has been my honour to be their friend. I have always meant it. If I die tomorrow, I died a friend to such wonderful people. And that in itself is something infinitely precious to me.
A former friend of mine was ostracized by the rest of the girls a while ago. She had this constant desire to cause trouble between friends. Her backstabbing and lying grew to immense proportions until she became what is know as a batu api. She would create friction between good friends so that she could step into the breach and become important. She wanted to make herself important to everyone.
After the dust had settled, some friends asked me why I didn't warn them about this girl. I told them that at first, I didn't know. And later when I did know, I realised that had I said anything to them, I would be no better than her - creating friction among friends. But I knew that, sooner or later, her spots would be revealed and they could see for themselves. But I asked them this -
"Didn't you think it was odd that this girl spent 11 years of her life in an all girls school and came out without a single friend? How can you spend 11 years with 300 or so girls of your age and not find even one person who you could be friends with? If you had a problem with one or two or even ten people, then it might be them. But if you had a problem with everyone, it's probably you who is the problem, not them."
So my advice to guys on the market is that, if you're starting a new relationship, get your female friends to meet the girl, hang out with her. They may not think she's fantastic, but if they don't have a problem with her, chances are you won't either. Not much anyway *grin*. Usually men fail to see the wiles of a woman. But a woman cannot fool another woman for long.
Oh, and the cat man? He married that woman and was later cuckolded. She, like many others, was just after his money.
It has always been a problem for men to figure out what a woman is really like. Is she really nice and kind or is that facade hiding the modern answer to the Wicked Witch of the West? Some men have resorted to using 'signs'. One man I know actually went on the basis of cats. He thought that if a cat approaches a woman and takes to her, that means she's a good sort. Animals know, he says.
I would rather think that she had something fishy up her sleeve. Literally.
The best way to figure out a woman's character is through her female friends. What manages to fool a man cannot fool another woman. Discounting for jealousy and petty cattiness, a woman will always see what another woman is about. Call it instinct, ESP or the sixth sense, a woman will always be able to see through the facade and understand the motivations of another woman's actions.
The men I've known have always been taken in by a pretty face and what they perceive to be a good person. And after the brand is produced and the ownership is clearly defined, they are either in too deep to see the woods for the trees, or are stunned by the revelations of her true nature.
I've realised after encounters with certain members of my own sex, that the quickest way to decide, on first contact, whether a person is trustworthy, is to see if she has close friends of her own gender. A woman cannot hide her true self from another woman for long before tripping up. And most women will shy away from unsavoury characters and keep them at arm's length. I've noticed that women who are back stabbers, liars, or have huge character flaws don't usually have close female friends - as they've probably backstabbed or lied to these friends. And as a result, have lost them.
A while ago, it dawned on me that there is no one who is truly good or evil. I was used to seeing things in absolute that I had not noticed that absolutes don't exist in the real world. The nicest, best person on the face of this planet will have a weakness, may it be a penchant for shopping or the occasional foot-in-mouth-titis. And the nastiest, most untrustworthy person you will ever meet will have at least a grain of goodness in them - even if it is just care for their parents, the love of a woman, appreciation of beauty, or the instinct to brake for animals crossing the road. But some flaws are easier forgiven, tolerated, and even appreciated.
I wouldn't say that my girlfriends were perfect human beings. Each has their Achilles heel. But for me, the goodness of their character and their constant striving to better themselves makes them notable people. They might have their own weaknesses but, in most cases, those weaknesses make them more endearing. I have always told them that it has been my honour to be their friend. I have always meant it. If I die tomorrow, I died a friend to such wonderful people. And that in itself is something infinitely precious to me.
A former friend of mine was ostracized by the rest of the girls a while ago. She had this constant desire to cause trouble between friends. Her backstabbing and lying grew to immense proportions until she became what is know as a batu api. She would create friction between good friends so that she could step into the breach and become important. She wanted to make herself important to everyone.
After the dust had settled, some friends asked me why I didn't warn them about this girl. I told them that at first, I didn't know. And later when I did know, I realised that had I said anything to them, I would be no better than her - creating friction among friends. But I knew that, sooner or later, her spots would be revealed and they could see for themselves. But I asked them this -
"Didn't you think it was odd that this girl spent 11 years of her life in an all girls school and came out without a single friend? How can you spend 11 years with 300 or so girls of your age and not find even one person who you could be friends with? If you had a problem with one or two or even ten people, then it might be them. But if you had a problem with everyone, it's probably you who is the problem, not them."
So my advice to guys on the market is that, if you're starting a new relationship, get your female friends to meet the girl, hang out with her. They may not think she's fantastic, but if they don't have a problem with her, chances are you won't either. Not much anyway *grin*. Usually men fail to see the wiles of a woman. But a woman cannot fool another woman for long.
Oh, and the cat man? He married that woman and was later cuckolded. She, like many others, was just after his money.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)