I’m truly sorry. To my loved ones, whom I’ve ignored and cold shouldered over the last few weeks and months (you know who you are), I hope you will forgive my bluster and prickly edges. I know how nasty and resentful I sound, even though I know you’re just trying to reach out to me. I cannot take you on right now, even if you’re only trying to distract me, or even though your problems are a lot bigger than this patch of self pity. If it were 6 months ago, I would be there, at your side, ready to slay the dragons. But not right now.
I’m trying to resolve this, but it seems like an insurmountable mountain. I still love you, I truly do. But I need space right now, and I hope you understand. I don’t know if the space is good for me, whether it will help me get over my disgusting self whining, and I trust you to know that you want what’s best for me. If you have any other methods, please try them, but be prepared for me to resent you for it. For now, anyway.
If I’m sharp and quiet and disagreeable, please bear with me, or stay away for now. I know its very selfish and a lot to ask, but I hope that you’ll still be there once this phase blows over.
Sometimes, I feel like crying, for no good reason. Like now, as I’m writing this.
It IS self pity, I know, and I hold it back for as long as I can. And if I finish this now, maybe the welling will stop.
My thoughts are disjointed. I hope this makes sense. I am, again, so sorry.
