Thursday, October 01, 2009

It's not a good bye


Broken windows and empty hallways
A pale lit moon in a sky streaked with gray
Human kindness is overflowing
And I think it's gonna rain today...


Remember this song from the movie Beaches? They played it after Hilary died, and it's running through my head on this gloomy, rainy day as I prepare to say farewell to the most jovial and funny chic. No, nobody is dead. Its a farewell for a good friend in the office.Her time to leave the organization has come. She has been praying and praying for a better offer. well, I guess, once the offer fall on her lap, the inevitable can no longer be postponed.


When I think of Effa, I' ll always remember our routines. It has always been Sha, Effa and Me.
Us, sitting in Effa's Super-Savvy (with its funny sound)...bitching about life at works, funny people that we met, how hungry we are and how we look forward for lunch break..and many many more.

Effa just joined us early this year. But her attitude makes us feel that we've known her for years.
She is . . . one of those people who others gravitate towards. She is warm, friendly and there is no doubt that she works in the people field, caring for others because she genuinely cares. Yeah, this is how I came to know Effa. When I needed assistance and help during a couple rough times, she was one of the first person who will always be there, lending her helping hand. When Sha just needed someone she could talk to… about anything… Effa was there to listen, without judging.

At heart, I knew she is a good person despite her crazy personality and her panic attitude which we find very amusing. And I knew she is a good friend and colleague, because Effa is not a selfish person. She is not a type of person who will say no if you needed her help which I think is a rare quality which is not easy to find in a colleague. It makes Effa, a truly unique person and you are very intrigue to have her around you. She knows how to light up a room and makes people feel very much comfortable to just be with her.
We will truly miss her a lot when she no longer in the office. Effa that I know, she can be stupidly funny without her knowing and yet a very honest and helpful person at the same time.

Today, on her last day, she keep on saying "thank you for teaching me a lot about stuff at work"..but what she didn't realized is that I have also learn a lot from her for the last 9 months.

For us (myself and Sha), Effa became our confident, our laughing partner… and man, did we ever share lots of laughs. As I sit here writing about our antics, I am torn between laughing and crying. I remember going out with her – our usual break under the bridge because that is the only "sejuk" place in cyber, the three of us laughing so hard, her funny stories about how a friend of hers who know another friend that knows dozens of Malaysian artists (she is Miss Know-Everybody in the Planet), how she will tell the name of each of everyone that she knows in this world when she is telling us all her stories (which I seriously think that we don't even remember any)..
Yeah. I remember that. Its funny. You will not find another Effa again in this place..and definitely myself and Sha will miss all that..and we never grew tired listening to her stories..My tummy hurt a lot for the last 9 months from laughing.

As we have our last teh tarik session at OldTown Cyber tonite, we then had to say “Good-bye” except I refused to say good-bye. It’s actually “See you next time, Effa.” I will not shed a tear because I know this is not a goodbye, I smiled… gave her a hug and kisses. I am happy for her. I am truly happy for her..

To my dear friend Effa,
We will truly miss your presence. Hope our path will cross again.
Although it is sad to see you go, we are happy to see you being happy and passionate in what you are doing.
Be strong. I know you have the attitude to be BIG and to be what you dream to be.
Just follow your heart.
Insyallah, you will find the best for yourself and please dont forget all of us here.
Do drop by and say hello and we wish you all the best.

Take care. You have been a great colleague and above all you have been a wonderful friend for me and Sha.

Love ya. Hugz.


Friday, September 25, 2009

monies madness

There are some things all the money in the world cannot buy; amongst which are health, happiness, peace, class, manners, good breeding, and least of all respect.

Indubitably, posession of great material wealth is capable of buying you a degree of power, but to what purpose is that power?

Would it secure you a more comfortable life; a life more comfortable than that which you can already buy with your vast wealth? No, you don't need power to make a comfortable life.

Could power guarantee you the best of health? No. Money might be able to buy you the best medical treatments available, but power couldn't ensure your health.

Neither could power give you class, manners, nor good breeding. You could buy the most expensive designer rags with which to sheathe your body, you could buy the finest jewels for personal adornment, you can send yourself to the best schools in the world, you can boast of having an address book full-to-bursting of the personal numbers of the most hoity-toity who's who on an international scale, yet none of these could give you class, manners or good breeding.

Power can give you status, which in turn earns you a degree of respect. A form of it, at least.

F**k. That.

What a lot of people respect is money. Money --> Status --> Respect. And that's how moneyed people end up being respected, no matter what kind of people they are. That's the natural progression. What it frankly is, is f**ked up.

It's not that I don't understand how it got that way. What it is is a vicious cycle. People need money to survive, more so of poor people. Where they can get money from is the Rich. The Rich then exploit the Poor, because the Poor have no choice, to make Themselves richer. At the same time, you can't have these anjing kurap tepi jalan getting anywhere near as prosperous as the Rich, coz then Society would really have gone to the dogs. Oh yes, the unfortunate degeneration of society would really begin then. So what you have would be the Rich getting Richer off the repressed Poor .. and congratulations to the Rich for maintaining their exclusive position! After all, why shouldn't they keep their exalted positions as Gods who dwell in the Mt. Olympus of Society, high above the Poor Nothings and Nobodys? They're Rich! They've got something the Poor don't: Power! They've got Respect! They've earned that respect with their dollars, they deserve that respect!!! The Poor shouldn't aspire to too much, after all. Bodoh. Kalau pandai, takkan miskin. Kuli. Nak kaya?! Ada hati, konon. Sometimes the Rich conveniently forget their roots.

The Rich get richer, the Poor remain repressed.

Money is the Root of All Evil. I beg to differ. The Greed for Money is The Root of All Evil.

What bothers me is not the Money. It's how people act (and react) to it. Money is only Money. When people start believing it is something more than it actually is, that's where the seeds of Evil are planted. I would be a hypocrite if I said that I didn't want a lot of money to buy nice things, but I don't want my wealth to be built on the misery of others. How the heck could I live with myself? How could I eat the food bought with tainted money? How could I sleep in the bed begotten of other's misery?

Power corrupts. Insidiously, and absolutely. Too often power turns people into egomaniacs. Admittedly, not all people with money and/or position turn out this way, but let's be honest, how many don't? Already inflated egos then become more pumped up by carpet-baggers, ass-kissers, boot-lickers and barwahs who latch on, hoping for scraps to fall from the tables, hoping to catch a free ride to Money Land.

What never ceases to amaze me is that Rich actually wants people like these around him, more often than not for the sole purpose of having someone to stroke his egos and for him to bully. Filthy scum of society. I dare any of them to be honest just once in their lives. Show me the company you keep and I'll show you who you are.

And I will never understand how the Rich always try to repress those not in their strata. What the heck is so wrong about helping someone else become rich as well? What!!? Hina sangat ke a person who's only trying to make the best life he can for himself and his family? Who's only trying to earn an honest and decent living? Who's only trying to carve out a place for himself in this world? Hina sangat ke sampai you have to deride him, and belittle his hard, honest efforts, and laugh at his idealistic ideas of morals and principles?

All to often, it's the dishonest ones who prosper in their dealings. Why is it so unfair? Why does God reward the ones without scruples with material wealth? The ones who have no compassion, no kindness? Orang tak beragama? Why is it that we're always saying "Takpe. Nanti Tuhan bagi balasannya." Why can't they get their just desserts now? Why? Why? Why?

I used to ask these questions repeatedly again and again. Now as I almost reach my 30, I came to realized that some people have more rezeki here in the world but not later in life..and others despite having so many dugaan from Him, insyallah the rezki will be there at the Akhirat..

Years ago, I first became disillusioned with humanity. More years of observation, the disillusionment only gets greater. I have no more faith in humanity. To me, society has already gone to hell. It no longer serves a useful function. If only there were a nuclear catastrophe, or another ice-age, then humanity could start again from scratch. There's no guarantee it won't turn out the very same way, but we need to realise the .. I want to say 'obligations' or 'responsibility', but I think it'd be inaccurate .. but we need to think beyond the Self.

All this misery and suffering caused by material things and their superficial derivatives (i.e. "Power" and "Status") are nothing but a bunch of crock.

What earns respect is total kindness as part of your achievement. You earn respect because of the things you've done, of the principles you uphold, of the good and kindness you've committed. Your deeds speak for themselves, and your deeds determine the level of respect you are owed. Being born into a "socially prominent family" doesn't hold shit for anyone. No respect is owed for an accident of birth. More often than not, I find "socially prominent families" utterly disgusting, despicable and disgraceful. Usually it's due to their own exalted opinion of themselves and the degrading way they treat - and think of - others. Whatever society in which they are regarded as 'crème of the crop', I don't want to live in.

Yes, once again, I acknowledge that not everyone is like this, I know some good, rich people too. But what a minority.

A volunteer at the SPCA who cleans after cat-poo could be more deserving of respect than some kononnya high-and-mighty Tan Sri (who, by the way, almost definitely bought his title) or even a high rank officer in a respectful organization. Respect should be paid to deeds, not money nor status. It's unfortunate that the illusions of power are so tightly enmeshed in the workings of society that nowadays respect is so often casually demanded (and as unthinkingly given!) for the poorest and lamest of reasons. Respect, if not truly earned, is no respect at all.

I am not proclaiming that I have superior morals. I'll be the first to admit my deficiencies, but I believe there are common values in this world that transcend religion and spiritual beliefs. Regardless of what religion you ascribe to, or do not, there exists this natural law which differentiates the good from the bad, and that this knowledge is inherent in every human being. That (some) people deliberately disregard what instinct tells them is wrong disappoints me profoundly, hence the loss of faith in humanity. Sure, there must surely be more good people in this world than the bad, but that the bad ones seem to be able to take dominance with the good people being almost unable to do anything about it .. I just no longer have any faith. All will be settled after the material world no longer counts .. or so I hope. It's the one thing I have any faith left for.

>:o( I just needed to rant. I guess this was set off by .. a recent incident. It is unfortunate that the people who seem to be amongst the worst transgressors of basic decency and common courtesy happen to be members your family of , people that you treat with respect in the office because they have power over your position, your role and your work. I am so utterly disappointed and ashamed. They were once (I believe) ... decent people. I believe they once knew humility, and kindness. Once upon a time. The Love of Money corrupts; Power corrupts utterly.

In a way, I am grateful to have known them, to have seen them like this. It will serve as a life-long warning for me against the lures of false Status and the dangers of becoming too heady with Power.

Having the power to immediately secure a table in any busy restaurant, to buy the hotel should the doorman bar you entry, to order Mercedes-Benz to design a car just-for-you .. all these things are ultimately inconsequential. To be kind, to be compassionate, to be considerate .. these things matter.

Riches do not equate class. Knowing who's who in society, which fork goes with which dish, having a posh accent, and being able to speak French does not equate manners. Being a member (sometimes even being a pseudo-member is good enough!) of a "socially prominent family" does not guarantee good breeding.

Poise, finesse, elegance, good manners, gentility, integrity, class, genuine respect. None of these can be bought, not if you owned the world. I could be dead poor, but I'll bet I could still have manners, class, and truly deserved, truly earned respect.

Anyway, Im supposed to start working today. yesterday was supposed to be the end of my raya break. But I seriously have no mood to work and to drive to cyber.

This year raya we have received several sad news..my biras mom's passed away on the 1st of Syawal..and on 2nd day of Syawal my FIL's bro passed away too because of heart attack..this year alone, we also have my TokSu who passed away middle of the year and my hubby's Wan (nenek on his father's side) passed away before Ramadhan..

As we passed by the cemetary area, I told hubby- our loved ones are gone..its time for them to go..ajal, jodoh di tangan Allah...tomorrow might be somebody's else family members..and it might be our turn soon..we must always be prepared to accept any ketentuan..

We have not visited any house or pergi beraya yet, we were so tired..on second day of raya, both me and hubby were having serious food poisoning cases. we were so weak when we went to Legend PD on the 3rd day, for our 1 day breakaway with de kids. yesterday both of us were having very2 bad flu..thus we slept the whole day at home.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

how much randomness can you take?


I cannot take this much longer.

I keep saying, "I'm strong, I'm strong.They are but petty little red ants. Don't let their little poisonous pin-pricks get to you".

Don't make it personal. But maybe I'm not that strong.

My head hurts so much. And either it's the anger or the stress or the headache or everything, but I cannot see straight. Literally.

God grant me patience and strength and faith. I need so much faith.

I am at KL Office now, with PopTeeVee crew members. They look young and vibrant. I feel so old. I guess I need to be recharge and find a good place for me to recharge. is there any tempat carik makan which makes you feel young and stay young? without going thru any nip/tuck episode?

is it such a sin not knowing how to recline an external rooftop? babe, i was not born here right? i bet if i asked back whether such person knows where is nazareth in cbn or where is the only place in Kl called "pulau" or what is the name of the nearest school at bank negara..i bet no one knew either..except for those who knew me back 17 years and before..switching options is not a good option at the moment..the grass always seem dry and rusty..feel like PR is not my forte..corporate comm is not me anymore..should i switch to HR..or back to marketing? i have no idea..im totally clueless..i still love doing wat im doing rite now..its much more fun than marketing in a sense that i love to write minimal write-up and still being able to squeeze my brain for some sharp points on country's most important issues..press release is by far is still the best clutch for my career tank..and on top, i also love meeting people..but not dat much into event management..

i think, where you set your foot will eventually lead to the amount of happiness that you sip in a day..and it also have a huge reflection on the outcome that you produced..whole heartedly or half heartedly..or makan hati ulam kampung (is there such proverb? i couldnt remember..)

after so many years of drowning myself with endless memos, doing info packs and paperworks, i guess i tend to realized my true values and limitations. i guess every man on street who walks in front of this building will tend to see how simple things get complicated over years and years of working for people. how white kopicino becomes black kopi..how cat turns into godzilla..how van gogh turns into another ciplak petaling street masterpiece..what u used to see as white as cotton is now as black as the black hole..

its saddened you that the fact the last 7 years of working has not make you the great Audrey Hepburn, talently appreciated like the late Yasmin Ahmad or even as Martha Stewart..

I know, I should not be complaining. especially fasting month..i love fasting month. we'll talk about it later.i am happy the fact that at the age of 29 i have two beautiful kids and a husband who loves me for my unproportionate shape and sizes.

but sometimes you still need to let it out of ur chest. and that is what im doing at this moment.

My point is, i hate to be a kuli..and have no control or charge over my work. no empowerment. no opportunity to speak up my ideas. i hate that feeling. i wanted to tell 'the others", despite of wat u think about me - plain, simple, my blurry look..behind the spectacle..there is a thing called "human capability to work and perform diligently and excellently"..and mind you, i know more most of the things then you can even think of..hehe..

well, this makes me feel good today..to write other than any of those tension paper works or school assignments..i welkam me back to the blogging work..

btw, on top is a pic of my bubblicious daughter in my tudung..this is what i put her on when we are going to pray together..i miss her already..

selamat berbuka everyone..its 6 pm, and im still at the kl satellite office..waiting for the traffic to die..will make a move home when all of my muslims brothers and sisters are enjoying their sumptuous meal at home or anywhere here in KL..that will be around 7 pm..

to my other half, if you are reading this..selamat berbuka puasa with much luv..

Friday, September 04, 2009

Bonjour..hello, how are you?

I'm so sorry. I know I have been neglecting my blog for quite some time now. I believe since 2006? Gosh..i need to touch up my roots for being so ancient..

I'm fine thank you. Well, not Paracetamol or Acetaminophen or fine, but well and good, nonetheless. Give or rather, take, a few (five) kilos or so.

This is a bit frightening - I haven't done this in ages. I see Blogspot's 'Add an entry' space is still as ruthlessly empty and white as always (if I was the least bit poetic, I'd say it was as ruthless and white as the icy tundras of the Artic, but that's way too much cliche for one day).

This is why I'm doing this again: my non-work-related writing muscles (feeble as they are) needed to be flexed. Forgive me if I sound stilted and awkward as I attempt to find what is typically (and pretentiously) termed 'my Voice' - I still have to figure out what that is.

Occasionally, it takes clipped, dry sort of tone, and at other times it sounds oddly American (I say 'dude' and 'wtf' a lot). Other times it will be a stream of (self)consciousness as I enjoy using words that in no way resemble the phrase.

I feel strangely bereft of rants at the moment- after a good twenty something years of ranting (we'll assume that number shall we, I'm starting to get sensitive about my age - not for vanity but because as one approaches the big 3-0 one becomes almost manic at the thought of not being the next Oprah. Or something equally Obamarian.) I feel all ranted out.

There's an odd sort of deja vu about things, except perhaps with less finesse. I don't know - I'm approaching deeply apathetic levels. Perhaps this will change. Perhaps my (economic/sociopolitical) consciousness will come alive again. Who knows.

For now, I'm just going along for the ride.

On the thought of updating my biological metamorphosis, I have undergo some autobot transformation:

2007: welcoming my most cheecky manja son
2009: we moved to our own crib in shah alam
2009: nadyne's pre-school started
2009: me back to skewl

:) til then..

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

In Nadyne's Dreams




I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes~

Friday, June 09, 2006

Food in Memories

Sejak blog ni, tak pernah lagi saya mengblog dalam bahasa melayu...saya jatuh sakit sejak 3 hari yang lalu, dan masih dlm proses penyembuhan...Tekak masih terasa tawar walau apa jua yang dimakan..tapi perut lapar and otak mengidam macam-macam benda yang sememang nya sukar untuk dicari ataupun yang sememangnya bisa menggemukkan...so..I came up with favourite food masa kecik-kecik...

My Childhood Memories of Food

1. Sengkuang + Kacang Tumbuk

How to explain this divine manna....the sengkuang is chilled and cut to a thin slice. Then you order, out comes the sengkuang and a reddish paste is slathered on top to an even spread. Then kacang tumbuk is sprinkled on top. Then you hand over 10 cent and you get this really sweet but peanuty taste as you munch away. And it's cold so it helps with the afternoon heat. The paste is a bit masam-masam but just a tinge bit...never did figure out what it was. But who cares when you're like 8.

2. Asam Boi AisKrim Potong

This is just excellent on those hot hot afternoons. And you have to run to the gerai coz it's the first to finish. It's homemade and it's sweet but masam - masam. Best gila la. And the best way to eat it is by eating it from the opposite end where the asam boi is at. As it is homemade the asam boi always always is at one end of the ice cream potong. So you suck on the ice cream till you reach the asam boi and reap the reward. Look ....I was 8 alrite!!!!!

3. My sekolah rendah canteen nasi lemak + F&N Purple Fizzy Drink

I swear I have tried the nasi lemak with a lot of combo but this is by far the best combo. Yes, lucky me.... my school's nasi lemak was the best. You eat that and gulp down the green F&N drink with ice...my my I can still taste the contrast...does wonders to your taste buds...a very tingling taste ...dengan kepedasan nasi lemak and the buzz cold drink...

4. French fries dipped in strawberry sundae (McD)

I learned to eat this when I was young and it is still the way I eat my fries at McD. The salty fries and the sweetness of the sundae goes really well. Although they are people that gasped at the way I ate my fries. What do they know? It's one of my favourite fast food junk food.

So I guess that's about it. I'm bored today btw.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

The Posh Toilet at KLCC

Will you pay RM2 to use the premium toilet at the ground floor of KLCC? My friend Shara has told me about the toilet last year. Well, I just had to experience it only now.

Yes, I paid 2 Ringgit, and ... there was a nice Toilet Attendant in the new renovated toilet complete with scented candles. There were three cubicles in the premium toilet. And the conversation...

Toilet Girl: Welcome Miss, let me open the door for you.
Moi: Thank you. (10 seconds later, realizing that she was still there, outside the door...)
Are you going to be here through out?
Toilet Girl: I'm here to assist you, Miss.
Moi: (Tried very hard not to make disgusting noise in the cubicle).
Toilet Girl: Are you alright Miss?
Moi: I think so.
Toilet Girl: Just tell me if you need anything.
Moi: (That's it, I have to do my 'job' elsewhere and came out of the cubicle).
Toilet Girl: Was everything ok Miss?
Moi: Extremely...

But I must say, the Toilet Girl was well trained.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

My first blogging quiz

When you're convinced you've lost your mojo but are desperate to update your blog, what do you do? Indulge in the greatest cop-out of all of course - the online quiz! (Smaller cop-outs include posting your own verses, or song lyrics. Or are lyrics a bigger cop-out than online quizzes?).

You Are 22% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Go "Figure"!

What is it, I wonder, that makes Malaysians (or is it just Malays) think it's okay to comment about someone's weight ("Eh, makin sihat/berisi/gempal/boroi nampak"), even if

(a)You're not that close. (Heck, you might even be complete strangers save for some strange tenuous connection, i.e., he/she is your grandparent's neighbour's second cousin twice removed whom you only meet during Raya.)
(b) Who the heck asked you, anyway? Can't we just talk about the weather? Or, for a really polite conversation, why don't you ask me how much money I make?
(c) They thought you just gave birth, but the fact is your baby is already 10 months old and they still think that she is a cute looking baby boy.
(d) “Nadyne? Mcm boy ye name tu..”.. …or “Ayra Nadyne Medina?..susahnye nak sebut nama, tergeliat lidah..I don’t care whether my baby’s name is long and hard to pronounce, but I know the meaning is good- Respectful Flower of Madinah…I mean I want it to be different and meaningful, and not the typical millenium names like Danish, Danial, Haikal…
(e) “Waa..bulatnya mata dia..i think her eyes are too big for her age and size”..Duh!! wats dat suppose to mean? Did I ever give any comment on your baby’s physical appearance or looks?..Common la..think before you leave any absurd comments like that..I mean, your baby is not that pretty or that cute…

Actually, it's absolutely amazing the things that post-labour visitors can say/do to you and/or your baby while you are still pantang as well. Here're a few of the winners (List is by no means complete or exhaustive):-

1. "Eh, you still berisi eh"/ "Ada lagi ke kat dalam tu?". This, mind you, when my General Anasthetic from the 8 hours contraction horror had just worn off.Although, some people are kind enough to wait about a month, when I'm still in "pantang" and generally feeling like I'm the best-looking babe in the world with jamu plastered on my forehead, hair pulled back in a tight "ponjot" and the expected floppy belly. I even got a "Berapa berat you sebelum pregnant?" Err.. "Tak tau, lah," I said.Thank you, people for attempting to contribute towards my Baby Blues. A breast-feeding Mom needs a little bit of depression every now and then.
2. When I'm forced to breast-feed in front of visitor who doesn't understand the concept of privacy- "Banyak tak susu?" Why? Would you like some? And no, I don't want to hear about how you were a virtual cow who squirted milk all over the place at work.
3. "Kecik ek anak you?" Hello, 4.2 kg is not kecik. She may be small compared to you, though. And I really need to worry about whether my baby is getting enough to eat despite the doctor's reassurance, on top of everything else.
4. What is it that possesses people to want to carry/pinch the cheeks of/generally do things that have a tendency to wake up sleeping babies? Do they think that new mothers with bags under their eyes who are just about to heave (quiet) sighs of relief when they've finally managed to put their insomnia-afflicted babies to sleep so they can (finally!) get some shut-eye themselves want to wake their babies up five minutes after the precious wee ones have closed their eyes? Yes, thank you for handing the baby back to me after you've made her cry. Please give birth soon so I can do the same to you.
5. "Bila dia nak ada adik?" Dude. "Dia" can't even talk yet. Even if she could, I suspect my Little Princess would probably say something like, "Dude, I'm really enjoying all the attention now. Why would I want that taken away from me when I'm still smaller than your tactlessness? Plus, are you offering to go through the pain of childbirth for my Mummy?"
The thing is, the perpetrators are parents themselves. Does this mean I'm allowed to do the same unto them as was done unto me? Because clearly, unless I'm missing something here, it is acceptable to be rude/inquisitive beyond the bounds of acceptable inquisitiveness to new mothers and their babies.

Better get back to work before the 'legal repercussions of blogging at work' descends upon me.

Btw, Im prood of my floppy belly..hehe..floppy pon floppy lah...

Monday, May 22, 2006

Je Vous Aime

Love, is not just a verb.

It is a state of the mind. It is attributable to the Soul. It is life, itself, veils amidst veils, that pampers and heals. Yet at the same time, it tears me away from the nest of comfort, at the seat of the heavens.

Je vous aime beaucoup Nadyne..

Ton mama

Thursday, May 18, 2006

I Think Now I Know What I Really Want To Do In Life...



*Chief Handbags Designer (Kuala Lumpur - Mon't Kiara)

Requirements:He/she should be able to lead a team of designer with creativities and have experience in choosing handbags.Should be able to base either in Malaysia, Hong Kong or China.Willing to travel.
Apply Now

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Celebrating my first Mother's Day



I saw the card on top of my dressing table. It is pink in color, with the most beautiful flowery background and nicely tied pink ribbon at the corner of the card. On the front, I noticed those words..."For My Wife On Your First's Mother's Day"..
Tears flowing down from my cheeks..I opened the card softly to see more wordings on the inside...
"Seeing you as a mother gives me more wonderful feelings than I ever could have imagined. Besides great pride, I feel a special closeness to you...and excitement about all the new things we'll share. But the best feeling of all is the love I have for you, becaue it keeps growing stronger and deeper than ever."
It is the most sweetest thing and the best thing that ever happened to me in 2006. Being celebrated as a mother.
The opportunity to love so deeply and be adored back in return doesn't present itself very often. I have been so fortunate as to love - and to be love by the two most adorable and loving beings in the universe- Mr Amrin Abdul Rahman & Ms. Ayra Nadyne Medina.
My BumbleBee & My Pumpkinpie, I love you both so much. :O)
Thanks for the most beautiful Mother's Day card. I'm so happy.

Monday, October 24, 2005


I forgot to post a pic of Nadyne when she was born. Ok, here is a pic of her few hrs after I delivered her in Pantai. Look at her hair, byk kan? Posted by Picasa

Wat has mummy done 2 my cute fringe? (Nadyne's new hair look, courtesy of mummy) Posted by Picasa

Nadyne at Great Eastern Mall..She was surprised when I snapped her pic  Posted by Picasa

This song is dedicated to my absolutely adorable princess..Ayra Nadyne Medina...Kasih Suci

Perjalanan masih jauh harus kau tempuh
Ku di sini memerhati tanpa rasa sangsi
Jangan gentar ada sabar semai di jiwa
Ku di sini mendampingi agar kau mengerti

Berlarilah kau berlari
Terbanglah dikau terbang tinggi
Bumi yang engkau jejaki
Janganlah dikau lupai

Andai kucapai si pelangi
Akan kuserah kepadamu
Agar dapat kau mewarnai
Seluruh hidup nanti

Yang hitam harus dijauhi
Jangan disimpan dalam hati
Putihkan jiwamu dengan
Kasih suci

Kuterima dirimu dengan seadanya
Dalam suka dalam duka
Kau tetap cahaya

Ku bersyukur pada Yang Esa
Punya segala-galanya
Sederhana tapi oh sempurna
Oh oh oh...

Yang hitam harus dijauhi
Jangan disimpan dalam hati
Agar dapat kau mewarnai
Seluruh hidup nanti

Putihkan jiwamu dengan
Kasih suci
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Wednesday, August 03, 2005

So, my blog wont get cancelled...

Greetings!

Just stopping in between nappy changes and feeding sessions to say thank you for the well wishes. Ayra Nadyne Medina (Respectful Flower of Madinah) is now fine and well and thriving, Alhamdulillah.

The words that have been used to describe her have ranged from "feisty" to "strong-willed" and "like a boy".

Yes, she's only 1 week old, but with tons of hair :P

4.2 kg for a babygal, wat do u expect?
Will post her pic soon..

More later!

I wrote this 2 months back, but forgot to post it :)

No, I have no political commentaries to make. As my bumblebee say, I'm just going to "sit back and enjoy the show". Plus, I'm completely knackered. It's not all that easy lugging around an 8 month-and-a-bit pregnant belly (kicking Baby included).

Nearly eight months ago, when I found out I was pregnant (after 3 home tests and finally, a confirmation by the GP) I thought I'd turn this 'blog' into a pregnancy journal of sorts and record all the aches, pains and excitement for posterity (also to show Baby in the future so I can tell her, "Look, I went through all this for you and now you want to get a tattoo?"). Then I thought, who wants to know about the morning sickness, epic mood swings and assorted cramps anyway? Heck, I don't want to be responsible for putting people off having babies!

On the other hand, since I'm now on the 'final stretch' as it were, I might as well note down my myriad symptoms and 'favourite moments' while I'm still having them (and occasionally, having fun with them!)

For instance, for the past few months or so, I've been completely fascinated by my undulating tummy. Caused by my salsa-dancing baby. I know I'm going to miss this soon because apparently, there'll not be enough space for LeelWan to move around too much anymore. But it's both weird and wonderful seeing the outlines of a little fist or elbow or knee appearing on one's stomach.

And now she's* beginning to have these regular movements- there'll be a spate of thump-thump-thumping on one side of my stomach. Either she's going to be a good drummer (cool!) or she's having the hiccups (awwww!). Then there are the 'salsa-like shimmies', where there'll be a movement one side, followed by one on the other, and then a returning movement on the first side.

What I'm not enjoying however, are the third-trimester symptoms- e.g., the heartburn and the fact that my fingers and toes have swelled up so much they look like sausages worthy of any Oktoberfest. I suppose I'm paying for a relatively painless second trimester (with the exception of night-time leg cramps) during which I think I literally took 'eating for two' to heart, which has resulted in me looking like 'Seris and more' :P

*Dr Idris has confirmed twice that it's a girl. Mr Bumblebee doesn't seem to mind the fact that he won't get to name a child 'Anaqy' (to be referred to as Lord Vader when older). Next time around remind me not to say things like "If you can find the meaning of Anaqi then you're welcome to name our son, if we have one, that" because with my luck, Anaqy will turn out to mean, "golongan yang menambat hatiku" (which it did, since Mr Bumblebee actually bothered looking). Since it's practically confirmed that LeelWan is a 'Nadyne',

InsyAllah, my mom has vowed to go berserk in the frilly and pink section of baby island in Jusco.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Love Actually

Let's look at it this way, love would somehow, in a way, make you a totally different person, because for one thing, you have already dropped your personal space force field to let someone be a part of your life. I always have had this theory that your "comfort level circle", your "radius of personal space" depends on who it is.

If you're a stranger, you may have a radius of 6 feet.

If you're a friend, maybe it’s about 2-3 feet.

If you're very good friends (girlygirls), maybe its about 6 inches to a foot…Although i remember somebody telling me how someone shrieked "PERSONAL SPACE PERSONAL SPACE" for an approaching hug... ;)

If you're family, most probably inches...

If you're a significant other, you'll extend your hand to be held, hehe or closer than dat (Altogether now..Awwwwww)

That doesn't mean you have to change your habits (well, table manners is a different thing.. :p) and you even hardly need to make a compromise to change your daily schedule.

I know I never want him to quit his freaking busy job .Hey, good for him, good for me too (more money for us to shop and pay for the bills):p but once in a while, skipping a day or two from work (like we did..hehe) was exciting.

It was as if we got out from a scheduled trip by waking up a lil bit late (although we have set the alarm an hour earlier) and suddenly decide to go to a nice little mamak for breakfast and do "people watch".. and then go to OU for a window shopping, and voila! We both just run off from work!

I will just SMS my boss telling him that I got a fever (which he never call back to verify it, I normally just get “OK” reply via SMS), and he will call his office sounding very sick and telling his boss that he is down with fever, and demn, they’ll buy it too.

"People watch” eh its cool ok, you see so many characters that you don’t notice pass you by during your hectic day and its always nice to have someone with to b*tch about how the slit would not need to be THAT high... or how actually a lass with a 21 cm waist can have astonishing bosom (cup E ok? R u kidding me?)*mata terbeliak*

As much as some people might not pick up, you are slightly more tolerant on the negatives of your significant other.. and not actually disregard them (like what someone said *high fives*). you're too happy and won't care about petty things....ideally of course :D

Life's not always about good fried rice, ayam tandoori and sticky cheese nan, Chillis cuisine, great music, brad pitt or jon bon jovi (my taste) and salma hayek or drew barrymore (his). Like anyone else in this world, i too have my resentments, my f**k ups, imperfections and all but I've learnt, to the best of my -limited- abilities to refocus my energy on some insecurities to a more constructive behavior.

damn..thats deep..HAHAHAHAHHA

And My Hubby Bumblebee,

regardless how clumsy you can be at times,

how often and loud you can fart and burp again and again in an hour,


how obsessed you get over your palm, laptop, IE, Networking, or your V-Sat work,

how some older women at your office like to tease you how cute your face and butt looks like (takes out sniper gun..),

how you go goo goo gaa gaa over the black Gibson Guitar

just how you would loveeeee to argue with me on who should wakeup and go mandi first in the morning and in the evening

i love you and thank you for loving me in spite of my shortcomings and for being exactly who you are ;)

~Your Wifey

p/s - anybody needs a bucket to puke? hehehe awww COME ON! it wasn't thaaaaaat bad! :P Its our 1st anniversary.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

The Internet Connection

"Love that we cannot see"

Joe Fox: You're crazy about him...
Kathleen Kelly: Yes. I am.
Joe Fox: Then why don't you run off with him? What are you waiting for?
Kathleen Kelly: I don't actually know him.
Joe Fox: Really?
Kathleen Kelly: We only know each other - oh, God, you're not going to believe this...
Joe Fox: Let me guess. From the Internet.
Kathleen Kelly: Yes.
Joe Fox: You have mail.
Kathleen Kelly: Yes.
Joe Fox: Very powerful words.
Kathleen Kelly: Yes.

(Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, You’ve Got Mail-1998)

Both of us were waiting hungrily for our orders to arrive when my other half asked me, “Is it okay for a girl to fall for a guy over the internet?” My automatic reply was, “I thought girls are more vulnerable to get involved in such situations?” The startled look on his face hinted that I was somewhat inaccurate; perhaps it is because he is surrounded by friends who are not as internetly active as he is.

I think the question should not be gender-biased, but more on its general outlook – is it okay to even fall in love over the net?

If I were to ask this to my dad, the muqaddimah to his answers would always be “Yes, and No.” while he moves his right palm to the right side when saying Yes and to the opposite when saying No. He always sees things working in a two-way system, which is one thing I personally admire. When there’s good, there’s always the bad and it all depends on us how we maneuver the wheel. I guess this question goes through everybody’s minds when they come across a person (via pictures, blogs, websites, whatever) who suddenly gives them butterflies in their stomachs. I used to get that too.

Human can never run from attractions, be it of their own or other’s. We see people everyday and with such weak hearts we get affected so easily by beautiful eyes or red lips, soft hair or shy smile, and in some (or most) cases: big boobs or butts :P But is it ever just the physical attributes of a person that could make you happy? Is it ever just his dark mysterious eyes or his soft hands that would promise you a comfortable marriage life, free from interference from family and work? Or could her Chinese nose and black Spanish hair that melt you every time you see her spare you trust and loyalty?

For many lucky people, they could. However, there is nothing un-okay with meeting the one from the internet. Someone’s uncle met his wife online, someone else’s sister is happily married for almost a year now with her husband whom she met on MSN or something, and some other person is madly in love with her beau who likes her through Friendster months ago.

Yeah. Friendster, Myspace, MSN Flirt, Yahoo Personals. Don’t call them the desperados; they’re just looking around, like everybody else. It is the same like you going to the club trying to pick-up a chick, or attending a wedding with hope that your mother would introduce you to the bride’s sister or best maid, or joining a yoga class to see who has the best view from behind, or going through the personal pages in URTV or Mangga (I know somebody still does this nganganga!). The only thing that differ this matter is the medium, which is the Internet. Only that we are more exposed to frauds or sly dishonesties through pictures that may have been manipulated or untrue description of individuals. It happens, because the net is where it is the hardest to really know if a person is genuine and which offers people the opportunity to show a side of them that they could not in real life.

The safe part of it (which I like) is that emails and personal messages allow us to get to know a person intellectually first. We can judge a person from the way he starts his email (whether it’s a polite gentleman introduction with a Hello, How are you or any of such, or the rempit style that, with no effort to type out a mere five letter word of Hello, straight away goes Leh knalan?). Emails, messages and any sort of writing have their own body languages too, and they do have the power of revealing the kind of person we are.

Unless, if there is any one out there who would make extra effort to pretend to be dumb. Tactically.

It is a form of subtle romance, sparked by simple words depicting the desire of getting to know each other for either a long-term or just a plain platonic relationship, because that is the only way for you to share your emotions – through words. And it matters very much of how you construct them sentences. Wherever it leads you to, there is always something to learn. Back in my study time, my communication lecturer used to tell my class that when someone is in love, he can write just about anything on paper even if he’s not a poet. It is a nice feeling, it is the time when the world seems like a happy place and no matter wherever you are, you are always inspired to think and write.

People present themselves online in different ways. The poetic ones would write beautifully, those who are creative would express more graphically, the ones loving photography would tell about themselves through pictures…so on and so forth. In a way, it is easier to communicate with people because of the absence of shyness. If there was a guy I never knew of at all introduced to me and he only talks (a bit) if I do or vice versa, it won’t go any further than us being just a waste of time and money on that coffee.

I appreciate words, which is why You’ve Got Mail is one of my favorite movies (aside from its cast, Meg Ryan). Given the opportunity to interact with a person online offers us some knowledge of what kind of personality this person has and it allows us to be prepared when we meet up. Sort of like a medium of making things easier or more comfortable in first dates. Some people might take advantage on this and appearing as somebody who they are not simply because the people they’re meeting up with likes a certain kind of people.

There are always problems as well. First situation: two people living not in the same region/country/land. Issue: Distance. From here, many other little issues would come to follow: costs of travel, phone bills, etc. And to many people, it is the fear of getting disappointed when meeting up for the first time, fear that the person might not be as what they expected or saw in pictures. Well, if you have known that person for quite some time and the way her/his brain combines romance with words just sweeps you off the ground, would it matter if he turned out to be just a normal chicken rather than a rooster?

Not to me, because it is the mind and the manners that matters.

However, this would only look beautiful and only will the beauty be felt when it applies to a certain group of age, preferably for the adults. I somehow fail to see romance if this occurs to teenagers, because teenagers + internet = self-absorbance and the probability for a long-term relationship to happen is barely one in a million. Net-love is romantic, but I do not see it in such just because Nora Ephron managed to make Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan look so cute together through their laptops, but simply because of the excitement of opening your inbox or logging onto the internet to know more about that one particular person. Every time.

Oh yeah, I think I forgot to mention that I first met my husband online, 5 years ago. That gives me a wittier reason to write this, kan? ;)