This just in: The overruling emotion of motherhood is not love, it is guilt. Pure, unadulterated guilt that is magnified ten-fold if you happen to be a working mother. If such a condition is self-inflicted, kindly multiply by another hundred- thats how i feel everytime i have to go to classes, ignore them calling me to play with them, coming back late from work everyday...
I have finished my managerial econ paper. At de beginning, the class was - almost 20. Then it shrinked to almost half. The remaining members were actually demotivated when the rest decided to pulled out due to personal reasons, i can tell. I mean, yeah.. we too without doubt have our own personal and work problems to overcome. But, we dont think to quit is the best option. Definitely a big NO NO for me and the remaining..err 10, i guess..if we stop now, it would be forever to start back. But Im not gonna judge their reasons. Ppl have their own reasons of doing things. Lets mind our own business shall we.
its tough..no deny abt it. But living with challenges makes us more human i suppose. to cope with difficult situation. life ain't easy. But these eventually will make us to be a better person and appreciate de great things dat we had in life. Especially de small2 ones dat we tend to ignore before. I appreciate my short time with my family even better. I now understand what my mom has gone thru when she did her master 17 years ago in other country with 2 kids wif her (my dad was not able to come and so as my big bro). A lot of courage, determination, perseverance, and many many of- u name it..i couldnt list them all.
Managerial econs is harder than i thot it would be. To understand is one thing, bt to be able to write well and put down ur thoughts nicely on dat piece of paper is totally different. Maybe Im getting older, I dont know. Its different than degree time. Bt i love every single bit of it.
i love the fact that I am challenging myself to do more. You dont actually realized that you can even get to the first lap of the race..dats how i feel with econs.. and yet, u've made it.
but, the race is not over yet. im not even half way to the finish line yet..another a year and a half to go..I hope God give me the strength to outwit and outlast this. after all, nobody push me to do it. Ive been wanting to further my study since ages.
i first applied master in corp comm. coz i thot i wanted to learn communication. i got in. bt on de day dat i was suppose to register, i found out i was preggie with nadyne. so i decided not to go. lets concentrate on her first. with no experience on motherhood, i better put my mind on her 1st. later, comes alkaff. and then somehow last year, i have the urge to apply..bt i decided why not mba..i can still do corporate comm & pr and have my mba. at least if i want to go back and do marketing or market research, i can still cross the road and do it.
With a degree in marketing, worked with hypermarket and a factory before, from marketing and now PR..its interesting how i jumped from one ship to another. So these different kind of experience and challenges give me the ability to adapt wif different environment easily. Ive never work with financial industry yet..dun think im interested to, hehe..coz im still liking ICT industry a lot.
i think anyone who took mba, while working and having family to attend to, wud agree with me on this..
the challenge is not about absorbing the knowledge bcoz ur mind works like vacuum, u basically can fill in the think tank.. the challenge is to cope with the stress of nt being able to concentrate on the books bcoz of different other imprortant things dat u have in life. And off course, family is alwiz at top of the list. The word 'multitasking" should be deleted permanently from oxford dictionary. who can multitask? we're not the incredibles. there is no such thing as doing 3 or 5 things simultaneously. the key word is actually prioritizing. its a big P challenge for me.
so, i salute those who had completed their mba..its not easy i know. they can pay me 50k but i will not spend the next 2 years of my life and do it again. i couldnt wait for this to be over. Mostly bcoz i miss my kids. i miss going to my parents house on weekend. Going for pasar with hubby. cooking and baking. watching tv, off course. meeting up my friends. go karaoke, makan or bitching. off course shopping (bt provided with monies).
and most importantly i think my husband is de best husband in de world (i know i sound so poyo) but dats how i feel at this moment. He has been very supportive, taking care of de kids day and night despite his busy schedule in the office too.
I am singing this christina aguilera song- I turn to you. I know he hates me singing, but i dont care..haha..
the video can be watched here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4q05resEvc
one day if i look back, im sure sure i'll be sayin' this is all worth it.
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