Monday, December 14, 2009

The Big Three O

Tomorrow is my 30th birthday. Getting old is one of those things--like marriage and childbirth and standing in line at the grocery store--that happens to everyone but feels particularly significant when it is happening to you, which makes the triteness of the feelings involved sort of maddening.

As I celebrate another of my yearly birthday with my beloved ones, which brings me to that auspicious milestone as one of the woman who is celebrating her 30 years in this universe. I actually feel as if I am right between 52 and 54. I feel old.

So, yeah, for the last week, even though I know birthdays are meaningless constructions and etc., I was feeling all those totally cliché feelings associated with not-being-as-young-as-you-used-to-be, and worrying that the best of it was behind me, and that I had failed some really important test, and yeah. You know. Or if you don't, you will.

But then, I have promised myself this month that I am trying to be more positive. So, I realized that a person only comes to this stage of life once, so I am going to make the most of it.

This year I plan celebrating my 30th birthday. I figure it's my birthday, so I should be able to celebrate whichever way I please. Thirty is the perfect age.

At 30, you are over the hill and yet you are far enough from those turbulent teenage years not to be mistaken by anyone for a teenager (unfortunately new people in my life still look surprise when I said I’m married with 2 kids). Everybody knows that 31 is already slowly descending the hill and it is all down hill from there. However, it can be a pleasant slide into those golden years, so they tell me.

I have come to this conclusion. When a person passed 30, they should celebrate their birthday every other year, then, after 50 only celebrate their birthday whenever they remember it. It will cut down on the fire hazard some birthday cakes pose. A person should only be as old as the birthdays they can remember.

Lying about one's age has become an acceptable practice for many. Women, in particular, have mastered the finesse in this area. After all, what man in his right mind (if you can find one in his right mind) would ever accuse a woman, especially his wife, of fibbing here?

As long as there are stretch marks, people will stretch the truth about their nativity. Beware of the person who does not lie about their age. They are trying to throw you off guard for something.

Men can lie about their golf game, or how big the fish that got away was but when it comes to their age, women have them beat, hands down. Men have never mastered the technique crucial to lying about how many candles should go on that annual cake.

Men have a ridiculous notion that getting older is good. 'I'm 65 and still can do the work of any 25-year-old,' is the boast you often hear from the male populous. Most women will never admit to being 65, let alone comparing themselves to some 25-year-old.

This brings me to a very important inquiry: How to tell you're getting old. After all, old is relative - only your relatives are getting old.

The first telltale sign of getting older is that you begin to notice certain changes around you. For example, when I first began reading this newspaper they printed it in nice bold type. Now they are using much smaller print.

I think the change relates to some economical concern the publisher has. After all, smaller type means they can print more words per page. If the trend continues, they will be able to print the entire newspaper on one page.

Another sign I have recently noticed is that stairs have become steeper. A couple of years ago I barely noticed them. However, a conspiracy is in the wind. Not only are they steeper but some unscrupulous person has added steps to all the stairs in my vicinity.

We must put together a special task force immediately before any more steps are added. A danger here, and I don't want to be an alarmist, is that eventually staircases will never end and they will go absolutely nowhere.

Is it me or are people playing music much louder than they used to? I'm not sure of the reason for this annoying change, but I believe someone has been slowly increasing the volume, thinking nobody will notice. But I have noticed, so please stop it, whoever you are.

To compound this problem many people are talking much faster than they used to, especially the under 20 group. That may explain why I never get what I order at a drive-thru restaurant.

Then, the week seems to go by so much faster. I can remember when I was in school the week just dragged on and on. I thought it would never end.

Now, I no sooner get adjusted to Monday and its Friday already. Whatever happens to Tuesday through Thursday? Where do those days go?

I almost forgot (my memory is not what it used to be), I would like to say something nice about losing your memory. My grandmother always said that if you could not say something nice about someone you should not say anything at all.

So, let me say something nice about the marvelous phenomena of forgetfulness. Ah ... I'm sorry. I forgot what I was going to say.

Age does have its advantages: free checking, 10 percent off at most restaurants, and not remembering what you had for dinner last night which enables you to have desert two days in a row without feeling guilty.

Everybody grows old but not many people grow up. This is a major problem not only in general but also in many organizations including mine. Some people are not growing up, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, you named it.

Each day brings with it opportunities to grow. Take advantage of it today and enjoy getting older. Not to worry too much about everything. Take one step at a time.

So today, I’ll share this with you, on my 30th birthday. And I will sing it out on one fine day for you. May the force be with you, me and everyone, always...this is to cheer you up on your 30th. Like it did to me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiGp0NcR-Io


1 comment:

s said...

happy birthday seri!